“This year found new ways to break my heart, yet I didn’t let it break me. Gave as much as it took and still left me wanting. More than any other year, this one left me with a proud, unwavering sense of myself, and a fierce, unyielding resolve to conquer the next.” Twenty Nineteen by Lang Leav
It has been six months since I was discharged from the hospital.
I have learned more about being comfortable in uncomfortable situations. My travels in the last month to two of my favorite cities, Osaka and New York (when doctor gave me clearance) showed me that travels really teach us something valuable leading us to more self-discovery and to enjoy the unexpected, unplanned and the scary. I was in the cities that probably come 1 and 2 of list of places I can live in in the future. There were moments of sadness, there were moments of “missing” the predictable and the planned and moments of void hoping to find somewhere the right space for peace and joy. And you value the people that put up with these moments with patience and ease.
As I celebrated my birthday too over the last few weeks, I have learned the value of relationships that meant to be kept or let go, or sometimes situations that we need to let be. I am grateful to those who made an effort to create moments I will remember forever.
Another realization is that people will stay in our lives when they want to. They will make time. They will exert effort. They will decide to stay. And if they decide to go, no pushing is required. No pulling, no forcing to keep them to stay. We need to let them be.
We need to continue to be open in our hearts and invest on those who stay in our lives. Let those who decide to leave go and keep our hearts open so we can welcome more of those who want to enter and stay in our lives.
I also realized that people will help you when you ask for help. I believe in the genuine goodness in people that while they may make mistakes, they will always choose that which is good for themselves and other people. I don’t think people do bad deliberately. It might be driven by the battles they fight, or maybe of something in themselves that they are trying to be at peace with. But we ask, and it will be given. And we can expect that those who value us will value what’s important to us.
Lastly, I relearned the beauty of new beginnings. I was back to work almost two weeks ahead of schedule and that in itself is one of the awaited blessings I have been hoping for. Being surrounded by those who stop at nothing to make positive changes, I am inspired to do what I can – do good and expect good. Be better than before and use my newly discovered unwavering bravery to do what makes sense and enjoy every waking moment. This year has had many surprises – left my old job to join a new one, got ‘heartbroken’ on false expectations and doubts to taking life as it happens more freely, and to survive ‘death’ to become a messenger of a hopeful life.
As I get into this renewed sense of balance (which I hope to maintain), I ask forgiveness to those I doubted in their intentions. I ask for guidance as I try to tell my stories with care hoping it maybe helpful for others. As I start anew, please pray that we become clearer in our intent: Live life in a more serene ways so that we can connect more, love life more and keep our hearts open and strong.
#TheGratefulCompilation #AneurysmSurvivor #SecondLife
Musings, Thoughts and Creations 