Five Months

“These scars that reveal you were broken once also show that you still stand.” – Brijesh
It is now five months since I got out of the hospital.
And I have been hurt the most in this season of my life.
Physically, I was required to rest and take it slow for the last five months. My brain operation left a big “battle scar” and my hair has started to grow back from where my head was shaven to give way to the operation. I have minimal restrictions physically and was finally given clearance to gradually get back to my normal (focus on the word “gradual”). It required mental agility to understand and accept that my situation is beyond my control. That while we control our bodies, when it gives up on us even if the spirit is willing, we need to give it time to heal. It needs time to reset and we need to let it take its time. It also called for realizations that I would have not thought tangible till it happened to me. It was my tough time.
Emotionally, there are internal struggles that I have gone through that challenged and broke me. Some pieces I needed to let go even if those were pieces I would rather care for and keep. There are internal battles that led to crying bouts because I was refusing to surrender to this moment of my life. Moments of uncertainties, and discomfort because of the lack of balance, of misgivings and overdoings. It was my time to regroup and appreciate the process of healing inside.
Fast forward to today, I am happier where I am. My healing time I realize is a redirection – my physical healing and more emotional healing, too. What has kept me afloat all through these months was the acknowledgment that there is a Higher Power that cares and endlessly support me in my struggles. And that is reflected everyday through the people I meet and spend time with. I have never questionned my Faith in this process. There are times that I got angry because I was not in control but only to realize that all the while, there was a BIGGER plan than what I was anticipating. All I had to is to listen to what was being said to me.
All I had to do is surrender.
And there are lessons in this process –
I learned more about forgiveness not only of other people, but forgiveness of myself on things I did and should have not done; of options I chose or failed to choose; to just trust that everything happens in its divine time.
I learned more about generosity – that I also need to be generous with myself as I am generous with others. We get what we deserve and we don’t tolerate being shortchanged.
Lastly, I learn that the breadth and depth of this life is fascinating. It is short but can be worthwhile if we choose wisely on how we want to live it, seek the grace how to live it and surrender to the fact that there are things we can control and there are things that are being worked on for us.
I am grateful for the time I spent to regain what I lost and do MORE of this second life I am given a chance to live with these lessons shielding me and my heart.
I am ready to be back. Let’s use our time to create little ripples. See you all in a few.
#TheGratefulCompilation #AneurysmSurvivor #SecondLife

Mindfulness Yin Yoga with Chris Su

Concluded the 2-Days of the Mindfulness Yin Yoga Intensive Workshop. Intense days indeed!
Learned a lot from Teacher C and my classmates. It was interactive, and will inspire and challenge you. Chris explained the details well.  What a great two days it has been!
Day 1 was all about Understanding, Accepting and Letting go.  We are not in control of many things but we are in control of what goes on inside us.
Day 2 resonating thoughts: All about Surrender. Some poses may end up harder than it looks. Some poses will turn out better than it looks. And some poses are more needed than others depending on the body’s and mind’s needs. Sometimes, it requires a lot of more heart to try it. There are some parts that require more work than others. There are some that are already in our comfort zone.
The point is to let the body stay still. And let the body as is. No pulling. No pushing. Just let the process take over. Let the healing be.
I am yet to understand deeper how the balance of yin and yang blend in with each other.

But one thing is for sure – Aside from Ashtanga, I have fallen in love with Yin Yoga. Especially the mindfulness meditation part of it.

Another reason to be grateful this week. 🤸‍♀️🧘‍♀️🧘‍♂️⌛❤🧠🧚‍♀️👌
#TheGratefulCompilation #AneurysmSurvivor #SecondLife @ Beyond Yoga Serendra

 

 

More Than a Watch

Watch UP

My years in UP Diliman were some of the most rewarding years I had growing up. It has taught me to stand on my own, make desicions for today and the tomorrows, and live with rewards and consequences. We were not rich growing up but my parents did all they could to provide what we needed. As always, I am grateful for them.

Worked part-time when I was in college to sustain and live up to requirements when my allowance was not enough.  I was a student assistant in a dorm; I was an English tutor;  I was a typist and a transcriber of interview tapes (yes, tapes!) And many more. These taught me patience, perseverance and dedication to the job and the people I support. It has taught me to drive towards excellence all the time and to strive harder when things get tougher.
Because those were hard times, I was not able to buy my own college ring (because we couldn’t afford it). I was only able to buy any UP merchandise when I was already working.
I have always considered my graduation as a shield to chase the dream and to do better for my family and those who depended on me. My parents were very proud when I graduated with honors.
I have no regrets. Those experiences have molded me to who I am today. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn, for the opportunity to test how far and deep I can go, and for the opportunity to shine at my best despite of the failures that came my way. Go with peace and trust God. Surround yourself with people who unconditionally support and love us. That makes it worthwhile.
That is why I opted to take part and get these commemorative watches to show my pride and thanks. Thank you, UPD, for all the teachings about life being tough and realizing now that if we strive more and try to treat life with humility and strength, life will love us back.
Ako, isang Iskolar ng Bayan. University of the Philippines Diliman, 1997-59261.
PS. Been receiving messages where I got these from the time of posting. You may contact JJ Se. Romeo D. Se Jr.
Go Isko and Iska! 😚☺️😍
#TheGratefulCompilation #AneurysmSurvivor #SecondLife #UPD #IskolarNgBayan #UPOblationWatch

Two Years Ago…

Taken 2017 vs. 2019.
It was a struggle not just physically but emotionally as well. I was going through a lot of stress. I was unhealthy- was not eating right, not sleeping right. That was the year, my doctor prescribed 1 week rest because blood pressure was shooting up uncontrollably. Reason: Stress.
I was in denial that something was wrong until I saw how that was impacting my skin. That was a year I struggled with breakouts and acne and my skin was very dull. I never had issues with acne when I was younger. So having those as an adult, is very uncomforting. It also was already impacting my self-esteem and confidence.
After my birthday that year, I made a commitment to myself – to take back control. Take back my health. Take charge of my body. Ensure I get back my good skin.
What I did? Proper exercise, lots of water, did intermittent fasting, stuck with avoiding my food intolerances, and get into a skin care routine that focuses on double cleansing, and revitalizing the skin. I still struggle with good sleep but I am really trying! 😉 Seeing old pics continue to inspire me to strive to be healthier.
Surviving aneurysm is my biggest blessing this year. As I recover and heal, I gradually go back to my usual activities – work through getting my pace back to exercises; try to sleep better; eat right. I also try to tell more stories of hope and gratitude from my experience.
Doesn’t hurt to strive be a little more beautiful everyday, too. My ‘bestfriends’ – Klairs, and Wishtrend get delivered hassle-free by @beautymnl. Everyday and done consistently, we get back our bright skin back!
And lastly, how do we make maintain positivity? Gratitude. Being thankful for everyday to whom we owe lives to. He is good all the time. Trust Him. And let’s do everything in His name. And you will be surprised, how that transforms our lives – skin-deep and not.
#TheGratefulCompilation #AneurysmSurvivor #SecondLife #LoveBeautyMNL
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The Grateful Compilation: First Month

20th.
It has been a month since I got out of the hospital.
Aneurysm. Brain. Operation. Subarachnoid hemorrhage. Clipping. Those were the unfamiliar words and phases I have gotten accustomed to over the last few weeks. Gotten accustomed to pain and periodic medications. I have had trouble articulating and saying words I wanted to say; Had trouble expressing myself; Had to start speech therapy to get to talk again; Had trouble writing words or signing my name (still working on this) using my right hand. I had to get used hiding my head stitches through bandanas and headbands. Had to fight the feeling of insecurity because of the stitches and the “battle scar” I have gotten from it.
Was frustrated. And sad. And a little angry at myself during my 18-day stay in the hospital. Because I knew I was bothering “people.”
But during that period till now, I realize there is a lot to be thankful for – Those who have not stopped praying for me; those who have shown care for me when I was in the hospital and when I got home; those who kept in touch and checked on me on their spare time; those who reached out and reconnected with me to know my whereabouts; those who made/ make time to visit me; those who just gave a damn about me. I have a better appreciation of time because “this” almost killed me.
God is good. All the time.
Familiar words I got to know again: Family, Friendships, Relationships, Reconnections, Love, Care, Support, Effort, Thank you. The words that matter. Words to be grateful for. In this second life. In my second life.
I cannot emphasize enough – Thank you to all of you. May all your kindness go back to you tenfold in unexpected ways.
#TheGratefulCompilation #AneurysmSurvivor #SecondLife

The Grateful Compilation: Second Month

G R A T E F U L.
Something that signifies how grateful I am to have my second life – a second chance to do better. It is a reminder for me on how good God is – to me, to my family, to my friends. It is to remind me to remain being thankful for all the blessings, and for the people around me who continues to support me in this journey.
Two months ago today after getting out of the hospital. Doctor got to remove my stitches/staples yesterday from the brain operation done due to ruptured aneurysm. Healing progress is promising with doctor’s instructions on how to ensure progress is sustained. It will still take a few weeks and months before full rehabilitation and I can’t wait for the time when I am back. Slow and gradual progress. Steady and improving. Day by day.
What does this time teach me?
It teaches me Patience – patience to give myself a chance to heal fully, slowly and with grace.
It teaches me Tolerance – to the things I still cannot change or do because I am healing. Or because I have to endure continued subjection to medicines or tests I have to take; tolerance of those who seem to be true in intent but is otherwise in reality.
It teaches me Calm – how to avoid negative emotions in the middle of stormy situations. Or to avoid overthinking the future.
Most importantly, it teaches me Appreciation – of the people who continues to be supportive inspite of and regardless of the shortcomings healing requires; appreciate those who tirelessly dedicate the effort to know and the effort to care.
I know I have much to learn apart from these. I hope I carry these learnings for many years ahead – To do more, to do better and to do well.
Patience. Tolerance. Calm. Appreciation.
Most especially a heart and mind that’s Grateful.
God is good. All the time.
#SecondLife #AneurysmSurvivor #TheGratefulCompilation #Inked

The Grateful Compilation: Third Month

It has been three months since I got out of the hospital. On those three months albeit difficult, I have been used to a slower pace in how my days and my weeks and my months go by. More time on the slow so I can recover fast and to use the slow time to heal.
I have gotten more activities back into my normal as per doctor’s advise. He said, “Physical wounds will heal faster but BRAIN inside needs more time (to heal).” No food restrictions unless I have intolerances and allergies. No restrictions on physical activities so long as those are done gradually and in the right progression. More time spent on things I have always planned for but no “time” for.
These made me realize that I have to get used to not feel guilty because I am resting, recharging, and putting myself first so I can be back to a stronger version of “me.” I have to be at peace on how I use this time.
I also have come to terms that time is of the essence. We should spend it on those we care for, and those that matter to us. Sometimes, it takes second chances (or more) to make it right. And this second chance I got, I need to spend wisely – still do the BEST I could not just for me but for those who has not been as lucky.
The “goodbyes” I have seen over the last few weeks showed me that at the end of the day, it is all about the breath. How we inhale the good. How we exhale the bad. How we manage the cycle – the cycle of breathe ins and outs that connect E V E R Y moment in our lives. And that connects us with others. It is something we often take for granted. We see when we feel stress, we breathe deeply. When we feel worried, we breathe out. When we are in love, we breathe in and out when we feel our hearts are skipping a beat or when its beating faster than usual. When we need courage or need to be brave, we breathe in to get ready so we can make the right decisions.
Lastly, as always, family always endures – the family I have now and those friends who has been like a family to me. I am grateful for them for supporting me unconditionally in my healing and recovery. And for giving me space to try and get back on my feet in my own pace. They remind me especially during those times I try to get on my “old” and faster pace. They remind me that I need to get back GRADUALLY and not to do everything all at once. And yes, the reminder, “It is okay to slow down.”
Like I said in some previous posts, maybe in it ALL, we only need to do the essential. SAVOR life and make it as SIMPLE as breathing. Or maybe realize and chase what takes our breath away. Accept that the need NOW is to slowdown and GRADUALLY return to normal. And remember that there are people around us who generally care and love us. Maybe they are not good in expressing it but we are expecting. Or they might be showing it but we are not looking.
And everyday I wake up, God shows HIS goodness for letting me breathe in and out. I continue to be thankful and grateful.
#SecondLife #AneurysmSurvivor #TheGratefulCompilation #Inked

The Grateful Compilation: Fourth Month

It has been four months since I got out of the hospital.  For those who have been following my journey, you know it has not been easy.  Healing has its perks – you sleep longer, sleep whenever you feel like it, do what you need to do to achieve medical satisfaction.  It also has its challenges.  The physical exertion is monitored to ensure the process I am taking is gradual and not hurried.  The life pace I am used to before the aneurysm is a goal today and the work involved to get back on that ‘old’ pace I have to do again.
But in this fourth month, I have made a decision to make it “busy” by stepping up and do the things I have always wanted to do but didn’t have the time on.  Here are my insights I have gathered from these new experiences:
FACE YOUR FEARS. Took swimming lessons this month because I have always wanted to learn how to swim.  The private swimming lessons took 5 sessions of 2hours each and I learned the basics of swimming!  Was able to learn how to navigate through a 4ft pool to a 16ft pool.  Thanks to a great teacher for being patient and for the support of friends who encouraged me to jump.  How great it is to be able to conquer your fear!  I learned from this experience that it is not too late to learn new skills whatever age.  And if we are afraid, that makes it a priority to conquer it and move past it.  Facing our fears only makes us stronger.  And there are people out there willing to help and support if we give them a chance.
RUN YOUR WORRIES AWAY.  Been happy getting back to my 5km and 10km milestones and gradually getting on track to building on my half-marathon pace.  Not in a hurry this time and just enjoying the momentum as I build up.  I get to spend time with friends (who also run) and those that just meet me after the run (Ehem! You know who you are).  Run your worries away by spending time with people you value and value you back.  Build the pace, enjoy the build up and stay in the moment.
BAKE IN NEW PLANS AND DON’T BE AFRAID TO START OVER.  Today is my graduation day from a Basic Baking Class.  This is a 4-day course that run around 5-6 hours.  The course is all about the learning the basics of baking and building up from there.  I have always been curious about baking as we didn’t have an oven growing up.  When we finally had it, it was time for college and had to move to the ‘city.’  Baking has taught me patience to wait if after the timer goes off, the cake or bread is not yet ready.  When kneading the dough, you have to give time for it to “rest” so it can rise and be double of what it was.  It also teaches me it is alright to make mistakes so long as you learn from it.  Even if it is not shaped right, be patient.  You will learn to do it right.  If you missed the salt or sugar, there is always next time.  And make sure next time is better and fluffier.  😊 Sometimes we need to start over because that is the only option we have.  We attack it more prepared.  This time, better.
Lastly, IT IS ABOUT CHOOSING TO LOVE BROAD AND DEEP:  Not only other people but loving myself broad and deep, too.  There are some decisions we make that we regret; some that we wish did not happen; some words we should have not said; some actions that we should have done.  We need to learn to forgive ourselves as we know how to forgive others.  We should trust the process that there are learnings out there ready for us to discover and that all these discoveries are out there to keep our hearts strong, our minds clear, and our purpose laid out.
My four months journey so far – Face your fears and believe we can improve ourselves.  Spend time and love the people that love us back.  Be patient with ourselves as we are patient with others.  Lastly, trust the process and keep heart and mind open to possibilities and for the better.
I am learning day by day.  Live like it is the last day.  Love like your heart will not break.  Let go of what weighs us down.  Remember, YOU are enough.  It may hurt at times, but I remain grateful and I continue to celebrate the life I am given a second chance to live.

#TheGratefulCompilation #AneurysmSurvivor #SecondLife #SwinCentralPH #LifeVestNoMore #TheMayaKitchen #UncomplicatedCooking

To you brother on your wedding day

It was January 1, 2015. My brother and I were in the mall and he was taking a selfie (He didn’t like selfies) and about to send to this girl (showed me the picture) – “Ate, maganda ang legs.” This is but one of the countless stories (and fights of these two) as I have been part of this love story from the beginning.

And today it unfolds.

I am very protective of my brothers. And I am choosy with who I like for them and who gains my approval. And today, I earned a sister. And I am glad it is you.

It was not easy. But what a ride it has been. Thank you, Yen, for being patient. Thank you for taking care of my brother. Thank you for taking care of Tamtam. Thank you for opening yourself with the possibility of today. Welcome to our family. Welcome, sister!

Tan, you have always been someone who brings the family together. To the misunderstandings, you play the unbiased party. To the fun and festivities, you are the clown that ensures the party is never over. To our family, you are the errand boy, the go-to person, you are the reliable support always ready to help. Thank you for bringing joy in our family. Thank you for bringing Yen and Tamtam into our family.

I have seen you grow from the happy-go-lucky boy to the man you are today. I have seen you rise from heartbreaks to joy to confusion and back to joy. I see you blooming everyday into fatherhood and now into married life.
I am excited to see more of what will be of your becoming.

To both of you, may you grow into friendship together. Let the candor of youth make you enjoy the years as you build your family. May the years be kind so both of you can be gentler with each other and kinder to yourselves. May the years together make you grow into partnership and teamwork. Support each other and be actively engaged into each other’s affairs giving space enough to be together and space enough to grow as individuals. There are many who love you and support you. I want what will bring joy into your family and into your lives.

Yen, welcome to family. To both of you, cheers to many happy years together. I love you both. I always have your back.

#TanYenAngWedding #NangMaYENloveSiTRISTAN #TANgingIkawLangYEN

Lotus Pod Bed and Breakfast: A hidden paradise in Laguna

If you want a quiet place to rest and just relax, where would you go? Saw two of my friends visited a place in Bay, Laguna, during one of the long weekends in August. Place looked serene, and full of greeneries. And their pictures looked so much fun!

I was intrigued and I knew I had to visit the place-Lotus Pod Bed and Breakfast in Bay, Laguna. I have been to Brgy. Puypuy, Bay, Laguna once when I hosted a team-building activity for my team. I also knew the place as I usually pass by the route whenever I drive towards Lucban to visit my parents.

It was an easy drive. Took approximately ~1.5 hours from Alabang with moderate traffic. Our trip took around two hours due to stopovers along the way (buy water and pica-pica). We passed through UPLB (of what seems like a forest) to avoid the usual Los Banos traffic on weekends. Be prepared in case the navigation app points you to this route.

Google Map made the trip easier with the directions and it helped with estimating the arrival time. We couldn’t connect to Waze while on the way there.

Upon getting there was a huge gate. We had to honk once and the gate was opened by a kuya manong who works there. He then led us to the parking area. Parking spaces were generous open spaces and is located inside the entire property. As it was gated, I felt secure about leaving my car there.

Check-in was a breeze. Jen, the Managing Director, welcomed us personally. Kim, one of the staff, assisted us as we went to our rooms. She oriented us of how the digital lock works, how to use the in-room tablet to reach out to them in case we need anything and showed us the amenities of the rooms. All the other staff greeted us with their ready smile. I am impressed by their personalized service!

Great for family stays and nature trips. Visited the place with my family and they instantly fell in love with the place.

My dad loved the lush greeneries and have been raving for the dwarf pomelo. He is a greenthumb and he enjoys nature trips like this. Seeing a 3-hectare property with organic farming really excited him!

My mom loved the spacious rooms. She also loved the activities the place offers – zipline, wall-climbing, massage, trampoline area, and all the vast space!

Perfect for family with small children (even big children like us!). We loved the play area where we played badminton and strolled around. The favorite was the trampoline.

Spacious rooms and well-thought of spaces. We rented 3 rooms- 2 standard rooms and 1 deluxe. All rooms have its own toilet and bath with its own jacuzzi along with its own terraza. It has a coffee table perfect for those tea time conversations.

The only difference from the standard and the deluxe rooms is the bigger space and the four-post bed that the deluxe have. All of the rooms are equally beautiful. If you are not particular with having a four-post bed, I will recommend go with the standard room. The experience will be as enjoyable.

A little pricey but worth it. Cost per stay is a little bit on the high end compared to usual hotel staycations. The standard room is priced at Php8000 per night and the deluxe room at Php9000 per night. Got a Php500 discount per room because we booked three rooms all at once. All room rates comes with breakfast for two.

While it is on the high end, the typical hotel staycation does not offer fresh air, earthy ambience and so much generous space. To top it all up, the staff was very accommodating and warm. They ensure all your needs are met and makes it a point to personalize their service. Definitely worth every centavo!

What needs to improve is food service. Food needed to be pre-ordered so don’t expect much variety there. Priced at P500 per head and being an agri-farm, I was expecting lots of fresh produce as part of the meal. Meal was decent but didn’t have the variety and quantity we were accustomed to.

Because bringing food from outside was discouraged, it would help if they have ready to order food in case guests get hungry. What can up this experience even more is if they also offered room service given that each casita has its own terraza with table and chairs.

Good thing, there are nearby local restaurants in the area. I highly recommend Kamayan sa Palaisdaan sa Bay.

They only started accommodations in May 2017. I am sure these are areas that can be improved in no time!

Overall still a good experience and definitely a great stay. I highly recommend this place if you are looking for a quick getaway away from buzz of the city!